April's Little Loves

Bit premature, seeing as it's still March, but bear with me. This is going to be 7 little things I'm excited about and 7 little things I'm going to achieve over the next 30 days. 

So. Exciting things coming my way in April:

1. Moving into the new house next week!! This is exciting for many reasons but mainly because my older sister is coming down to help with the move and I only see her once every 12-18m. Yay!

2. I turn 32 on Easter Sunday and can drink wine again. (Aargh this is probably the most exciting thing on the list. What a loser.)

3. Road trip to Edinburgh with Crazy Sister and Nana. Niece is coming along due to her absolute refusal to drink milk from anywhere but Crazy Sister's norks. I suggested no less than 12 different ideas for solving this issue, all of which were suggested in PLENTY of time, none of which my sister bothered to try. 'Twas meant to be a weekend of shows, shopping, eating hot meals in fancy restaurants... I give in. Still, exciting!!

4. Baby turns 1!!! Can't even articulate how mental that feels. With Toddler we were just elated to have kept him alive for so long, this time round we're genuinely confused as to where those 12 months have disappeared to? Maybe it's coz we're older now. Huh!

Party bags and decoration committee aside, this is also exciting because Bristol-Girl is driving up for the weekend especially and I adore her so much it hurts. I get an inexplicable urge to squeeze her tightly whenever she's within squeezing distance. Nom!! 

5. For my birthday I'm asking for something off my Spring list. I don't know what yet but the fact that I have a bonafide reason to ask for pretty things without feeling guilty is terribly exciting. Woo birthdays. 

(Am struggling now, come on April, what else you got??)

Hmm...

Ooh I know,

6. A trip to Shrewsbury with Eco-Mum and little mouse to swop some breastfeeding clothes (her) and eat yummy food without taking anyone to the loo mid-meal (me!) What fun!

7. A supper/jewellery party with the girls. This is both an excuse to show off my new house and raise money for Cancer Research. Must really sort out some details for that or before I know it people will be arriving and I'll be serving 4 breadsticks. Will add it to the ever-increasing list of 'Things I will turn my attention to once I've dealt with all the house-moving shit'. I'm not looking forward to that list much!

Ok. 7 things I'm going to achieve. 

1. I am going to get rid of that bastard plastic garage. I hate it so much. It will get lost in the move!

2. I will unpack every packing box in one long weekend. I bloody will. The mere thought of it not happening is making me twitch in anticipation. Urgh!

3. I am going to manage a weekend run. That's 2 I've missed now and it just makes me feel crappy. I really need to be braver and go out on my own. Mew!

4. I'm going to time the walk from the new house to school/nursery and try to take advantage of our new location on sunny days. 

5. I really must visit Teacher-Friend before Baby's birthday as they've not yet met and that's really unforgivable. A lot of situations and unfortunate circumstances have conspired against us but I also need to make more of an effort and face up to my fear of him sleeping the whole damn way to Cheltenham and ruining his routine ha ha! It's only one day. We'll be fine. 

6. Am going to implement the new rule of no iPhones upstairs at the new house. I am. Am aware this may result in Husband deciding to sleep downstairs. Small sacrifice!

7. Last thing to achieve? I'm going to walk Dog more often. Husband took over this 'errand' 3 years ago after Dog energetically defended Toddler (then Baby) against a vicious (read: elderly, defenceless) Labrador one day and pulled his brother down the lane upside down in the Maclaren in a confuddled state of protective farce. It was horrific and consequently has meant that I have only taken the pair of them out together a handful of times since. As a family it's fine. Me on my own? No thank you. So I am aware this needs work and needs work ASAP. 

There you have it. The aims for April and the little pockets of glee and excitement that will keep me energised and focussed when the going gets tough. 

Do you have a nice month ahead? Any goals to work on before Spring finally arrives?!

By jove...

...where did the week go?

I can't be arsed to tell you about the faff I had with the solicitors at the start of this week because I'm bored to tears over it now and don't feel it's fair to spread the misery. I also can't bring myself to live through it again in another telling, it was too stressful the first time. Upshot is, it's almost all over and we 'think' moving day is next Thursday. I'm not holding my breath but I'm not particularly good at playing it cool either so it's all a bit emotional over here. Emotional and messy since we're living in a house full of boxes. Yay. That's not upsetting my OCD at all. Not one jot. *sits in corner and cries.

Husband is reacting to the whole debacle by grumping about being forced to live in 'an empty, soulless house' for the next week. I am trying my damndest to ignore this stroppy attitude because his initial plan of moving ourselves made me laugh so hysterically I was also sick but also because I know who will ultimately wind up packing like a mad bastard on Wednesday night and frankly, I'd like to avoid that scenario at all costs. So if we have to choose between boxes and grumpy Husband now or chaos and even grumpier Husband then...easiest choice ever made?? You tell me!

So, let's have a little look at the list we made on Monday and assess progress. (I like lists and ticking stuff off, makes me feel still relevant and current, humour me...)

Found the packing tape in the garage out of reach and hidden behind some shite Husband was supposed to have taken to the charity shop months ago. It would appear he's been taking advantage of my dislike of garages. Bastard! Anyway, packing is back on.

Solicitor is an idiot. I'm past caring now. Need him to just literally stay alive until all the paperwork is signed and then I never have to deal with him again. Can't wait.

Easter Egg Bingo was actually lots of fun and not as mind-numbingly tedious as I'd feared. Chair is, as ever, a moron who makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a toothpick but in a few short months her tenure will be over (Posh Mama, here's looking at you for vice...!!) and we won't have to deal with her short-sighted idiocy anymore. So that keeps us all going.

Swimming lessons are still going well. Not sure how they will work in September what with starting at 4pm, the pool being 20mins away and Toddler not leaving school until 3.45pm...but I'll worry about that when I know where he'll be sleeping each night. Priorities right?

Baby's last Baby Sensory class was super cute as it was Easter themed and he was, without a doubt, the cutest damn bunny I have ever laid eyes on. Such a stunner. He promptly came home and started to cut 3 molars and has been a miserable little shit ever since. But Thursday morning was lovely!! Will be sad to stop going, and am not really sure what we're going to fill that weekly time slot with, but I know without doubt that I couldn't spend another 5/6 weeks getting my knickers in a twist about getting Baby home each Thursday without falling asleep so feel solid in my decision.

And buying one purchase from the Spring list got a little out of hand and I accidentally purchased 3. All from Boden. I blame the solicitors not knowing how to work their own fax machine?? Anyway, beautiful strappy ballet pumps, yellow and cream Breton and a grey lightweight jumper be mine. Threw 2 tops for Toddler into my online basket to appease the Mum guilt which fit him like a dream too so that helped. I will get there. I will have some semblance of style before I hit 32.

Speaking of which, there are 7 long days of Lent left and therefore 7 days until I a) can drink wine again and b) turn 32. Bloody hell. I am equal measures thrilled about this and terrified. I think 36/37 is my scary age. We can discuss why at a later date (when I've thought about it properly!)

Tomorrow is roast chicken, Baby swimming lessons and more cycling with Toddler. We took his stabilisers off today and want to continue while he is doing so well and actually moving on the damn thing instead of standing around screaming like an angry tomato every time it wobbles slightly. Praying for some sunshine so these new pumps can be christened. Have a blessed Sunday. It may well be our last one in this house...?

Happiest of Mondays!

List of things to achieve this week:

1. Find the packing tape so we can do some bloody packing. Husband had it last unsupervised. This was a folly of sorts. He hasn't put anything back in its rightful place since 1988. Balls.

2. Ring solicitor and make him answer a question, and question will do, we'd just like to know something, anything! (Update: he's off today and back tomorrow. Pah ha ha ha ha, hysterical laughing)

3. Supervise Easter Egg Bingo at school and once again put a curse on Posh Mama who somehow convinced me to sign up to be a parent helper under the guise of going to the pub for wine. Bitch!
4. Take Toddler to big boy swimming lessons, woo, he is so excited to be doing this. Woke up this morning and that was the first thing he asked about.
5. Take Baby to his very last Baby Sensory class. Damn these little ones growing up too fast :-(
6. Meet BFF for coffee and cake on Wednesday where we shall mainly sit around chuntering about how long Lent is lasting this year and how we really need to give up something less 'integral' to our day to day lives next year.
7. Ooh and I'm going to purchase one item off my Spring list. Just one. And it'll be a small one. But after 24/48hours of scouring through Kat's instagram feed (doesmybumlook40) and pinning things like a crazy bastard I finally feel like I know which direction I want to head in this year. I totally don't. But blind optimism is always comforting!!

7 aims seems like a lot. Let's see how we do...Monday, bring it!

Making a list

OK. Could rant about the latest breastfeeding debate, but I think you all know how I feel about that (in short, shut the f&ck up, feed the damn baby and move on?!) and quite frankly I've bored myself silly chuntering about it in my head all week long. Could tell you all about my thrilling and exciting weekend (Asda, swimming, Costa...wait, that's EVERY weekend at the moment!) Could regale you with our bike ride into town on Saturday morning during which Toddler sat on his bike and screamed his tits off for a solid 6 minutes about various imaginary ailments that were severely impeding his ability to pedal while Husband and I hid slightly out of view in an attempt to a) get him to fucking follow us and b) hide our hysterics. By the time he gave in and came slowly round the corner he was beet-red, covered in snot and tears and looked completely FURIOUS! He then wagged his finger and called us YOU NAUGHTY BOY, YOU NAUGHTY GUL and the hysterics turned to tears. Husband was practically on the floor bent double.
But words just wouldn't do it justice. Honest. It was hi-LA-rious.
Hmm...could post about the house again...only messing, wouldn't dare.
So have decided to get started on our Spring wardrobes, the sun has peeked its head around a cloud and, although it's still cold it is definitely brighter. The other day I went outside to the bins at 6.15pm and I could still see!!!!
First things first, you're gonna need to take a long deep soak in the bath and de-fuzz those tributes to Chewbacca you've got going on there. If your legs are going to have a hope in hell of getting any colour whatsoever this summer they're going to need a bit of help. Nothing ever got a tan from sitting out whilst wearing a carpet. Bic like mad, baby, do it!
Then comes the fun bit. You need to unpack your Spring gear, welcome it like an old friend, take inventory, decide which new pieces you're going to add into the mix and then it's pretty much a case of whacking on some coral nail varnish and BAM, you're good to go.
When I say 'unpack your Spring gear' this will mean different things to different people. I have a girlfriend in America who literally packs away her entire wardrobe at the end of Winter and Summer...then opens it up again 6 months later. Mentalist! My process for the start of Spring is a bit more 'put away my woollen gloves and roll up my trousers to bare my ankles...aaaaaand done!' That said, there are certain things you aren't going to need for the next 6 months and some things you may be using a bit more often that you have recently (ie 12 heavy jumpers and linen trousers) You get my drift.
Spring is also a funny time weather-wise, especially when you live in a country such as this where one day you can encounter 14 different types of weather all before lunch. Basically, don't pack away your scarves (as IF we WOULD!!!) and don't fold up every jumper you own in scented tissue paper for storage until September just yet (my jumpers don't ever get packed up, they just sit on the shelf stationary for that one blistering weekend in July...then they get worn again, sigh!) We live in a middle-ground type of country, it's not as easy as 'cold clothes' and 'hot clothes' so in Britain there's going to be considerable overlap.
Anyhoo, while the boys were enjoying a random piece of freezing cold sunshine in the garden earlier (idiots!) I made a quick list of staples I have already and made a start on my Spring wishlist. Ta-da...

THINGS I ALREADY OWN
Skinny jeans x 2
Bootcut jeans
Patch jeans
Denim skirt
Chinos (navy and stone)
Linen trousers (navy)

Breton tops in navy/white
1 plain tshirt
3 long vests
Silky blouses for daywear
Thin jumpers
Waterfall-esque cardigans x 2

Navy blazer
Navy gilet

400 scarves!

White and Purple Converse
Ballet pumps
Navy ankle boots
Navy daps
Navy loafers

(Am sensing a lot of navy here...do I want to mess with a good thing? I think not!)
As an aside, at this point, I must add that whatever is on your 'already in my closet' list must fit you, make you feel good and be in good nick. There is no point whatsoever buying bits and pieces to jazz up what you already own if those items make you feel fat/thin, shabby, dowdy, frumpy or worn out. Total and utter waste of time, effort and money. Send them to the charity shop and treat yourself to some new staples at the same damn time. Next do jeans for £22. Enough said!

THINGS I MIGHT SHOP FOR THIS SPRING
Breton tops in different colours (audible gasp!)

Slogan tops Flared jeans (bear with me, it's a 70s vibe going on at the min, I'm not insane I swear!)

Boyfriend turn-up jeans from Zara
A different cut of skirt of some description
Plain tshirts for a top layer
Extra vests (only have 3 and one is a size 10, think it's my sister's and it hurts!!)
Some lace-up flats aka WIT or the ones from Boden!

Some Dakota suede loafers 
A yellow scarf

An Everyday Jumper or a Tippi sweater

Huh. That list seems a lot longer than I expected. Oops! Thing is, a wishlist is full of wishes. And with two mortgages to pay for the next God knows how many months my wishes may have to wait until 2016. But it's always good to have a working list. I think it keeps me focused on my current style-thinking which encourages me to make more of an effort day to day. It also prevents me from buying as many random purchases; something about writing a list makes me feel more accountable and it's good to remember which pieces I really do have my eye on longterm (Shall I buy this pair of skinny jeans in M&S that are freakishly similar to two other pairs I already own?? Orrrrr shall I wait and put the money towards the Dakota pumps...?? It's good to have goals!!)
So there's the plan folks, the sun is coming and we must be ready. Assess your wardrobe and make a list!! Oh, and buy coral nail varnish x

He touched the butt

Remember that scene in Finding Nemo where Marlin is adamant his son mustn't swim out off the reef and investigate the nearby boat? He does so anyway, fuelled by frustration and defiance, and looks his Dad straight in the eye when he slaps his little fin on the bottom of the vessel?

That was Toddler this morning in the Waitrose cafe queue. 

Don't swing on the metal bars sweet boy. They're not meant for children to swing on, it will break or you will get hurt. (Frankly I deserve a medal just for that bit alone since I have to say it every. Damn. Time. We. Go. In!!)

Toddler, if you touch that metal shelf again we will go home. 

(Toddler assumes Nemo-esque stance, looks me square in the eye, stretches out one pudgy hand and 'slap', touches the shelf. 

Ooooooh I was so mad. Am quite proud of myself though. I didn't speak. I just stared at him, then calmly cleared our tray, returned it to the pile, took his hand (ignoring the wailing) and walked him right back to the car. 

Little bugger!! How dare he touch the butt?! 

Has been angelic since. I should bloody well think so!