Today has been a bit of a non-starter. We had plans to FINALLY meet up with Eco-Mum so our crazy, long-haired toddlers could burn off some steam at the park, she could play with Baby and I could sit and sniff her newborn's head! The nasty colds and bugs that have been circulating both of the boys' nurseries has meant that 4/5 playdates have been rearranged or rescheduled and today was finally going to be the day...
Until Toddler woke up looking like Quasimodo with an allergic reaction. FFS.
My gut reaction was allergies. It looked like it always does when something disagrees with him, but after two doses of Piriton there was no visible change so then I started suspecting 'slap-cheek', in which case I didn't particularly want to head out for the whole day in case he deteriorated quickly, not least in the company of an infant. So we had to cancel, again.
The upside to this misfortune was threefold. We got an appointment at the doctors within 3 hours (this is unheard of!) Baby cracked the lunchtime nap on day 5 of me putting my foot down and slept for a blissful 2 hours (by which time I was kinda bored and standing around outside the nursery door waiting for movement) and we got to nip over to BFF's house this afternoon for coffee which is always fun. So you know, every red and puffy cloud...
Husband is out on yet another work do. I'm sure he fabricates colleagues, drops their names into conversation casually for a few weeks then announces they're leaving so he must join them for drinks. I reckon if I actually went to his office unannounced there'd be no-one there but him and 2 decrepit old guys who have never heard of half the people he socialises with!! But anyway, it's mere jealousy on my part. I have no imaginary colleagues to fake socialise with. Bad times.
That said, we are taking matters into our own hands and decamping to BFF's tomorrow night. We have planned the whole thing. Baby soup at 5pm (take two toddlers and one baby, undress, throw into bath, drink wine while they empty contents of bath around bathroom shrieking with glee) followed by picky tea for all 5 babies, then put them all to bed (mental note, retrieve travel cot for Baby tomorrow afternoon of he'll be spending the night in his Bugaboo) and BFF and I are going to watch Love Actually in our pjs, eat Indian food and wear face masks while the husbands watch Shawshank Redemption, eat chinese food, drink beer in the cinema room and probably fall asleep on their respective recliners. It is going to be EPIC!
Oh, we also have 3 house viewings lined up so keep fingers crossed. One of these surely has to be our home. I'm losing the will to live!
Dog has appointment at vets at 9.40. Dog hates vet. Dog likes to pull on lead. Toddler can walk. Baby obviously can’t. Baby is heavy in car seat. Can’t carry baby in my arms because when dog pulls there’s a fair chance I’ll drop him or squeeze him so hard he pops. Also, baby can’t spent entire app lying on vets floor, might be frowned upon by members of public. Can’t take pushchair as dog won’t fit in boot unless I take it out.
Have come up with the following:
Drive to vets. Get baby out of car in car seat. Hoik him into the vets and put him in the waiting room. Pray no one in vets is opportunistic paedo. Race back outside. Release the toddler. Make him cling to my leg while I get dog out of boot. Hold onto toddler while we both get dragged in 45 directions before eventually making it through vets door. Hold onto dog for dear life while he barks at the receptionist/growls at other pets/wees himself from nerves. Distract toddler from demolishing cat food display. Wave toy infront of grumpy baby who wants out of car seat. Wait for name to be called. Pray noone needs a wee or does a massive poo.
Name called. Dog goes mental. Hoik baby and drag dog into room. Remind toddler that if he follows you he can have snack time as soon as we get home. Breathe sigh of relief as vet closes door and we’re all contained…
Drive to vets. Get baby out of car in car seat. Hoik him into the vets and put him in the waiting room. Pray no one in vets is opportunistic paedo. Race back outside. Release the toddler. Make him cling to my leg while I get dog out of boot. Hold onto toddler while we both get dragged in 45 directions before eventually making it through vets door. Hold onto dog for dear life while he barks at the receptionist/growls at other pets/wees himself from nerves. Distract toddler from demolishing cat food display. Wave toy infront of grumpy baby who wants out of car seat. Wait for name to be called. Pray noone needs a wee or does a massive poo.
Name called. Dog goes mental. Hoik baby and drag dog into room. Remind toddler that if he follows you he can have snack time as soon as we get home. Breathe sigh of relief as vet closes door and we’re all contained…
I worked all of this out over my ‘relaxing’ morning coffee at 6am. I can’t decide if I’m terribly organised and efficient for trying to think of everything that could possibly go wrong or a total fool who should learn to roll with the chaos. It’d be easier that way I suppose.
I can’t bring myself to work out how we’ll all get back to the car safely. I’ll need another coffee before that one!