19 June 2017


Yes, it's that time of year, the boys have started their ski lessons!

Image result for children ski meme

Due to pregnancies and then babies and then toddlers AND babies and then, you know, not having 5k to put our hands on to TAKE said children anywhere with snow (have you looked at the cost of family ski trips? Holy hell!) Husband and I haven't been on skis in 7 years. SEVEN BLOODY YEARS.

They don't tell you these things when you decide to have kids. They allude to them vaguely, in a roundabout, covert way, but it's always said with a 'but of course it's totally worth it' smug vibe and you're left thinking it won't be that bad, how selfless of us, we'll be so happy with our lot, we're ready for life to change beyond measure, we're so excited to start this new adventure, I'll never want to use skis again once I have an angel in my arms blah blah blah... and they stare back at you with glassy eyes.

Of course, you plough on regardless, push some children out of your hoohar and then it hits you. You realise that all the miserable bastards who already had kids were desperate to grab you by the shoulders and scream in your face 'DON'T DO IT, YOU'LL NEVER SKI / HAVE A LIE IN / FINISH A WEE / CONDUCT AN ADULT CONVERSATION AGAIN' but were too ashamed to admit to feeling that way. So they outright fucking lied to your face. And these were your friends... Pfft. I trust no-one anymore.

Anyhoo, all that aside, I've decided that enough is enough, Husband will just have to man up and sell a kidney because this Mama needs some snow time. Boy is now on his third summer of lessons at the local indoor place (rather competent snow plough, just beginning turns) and Toddler has just begun (not naturally gifted, but then he is only three, I'll give him a few more hours' tuition before I write him off completely and make plans for him to stay with Nanny while we're away!)

Have done what I always do in these situations to get Husband on board, spent an inordinate amount of money on gear so that the final holiday-booking part of the plan looks less like an extravagance and more of a 'well jeez, we really ought to book that holiday now or look how money we'll have WASTED in vain on thermals...' So far, I've gotta be honest, it's not working out as well as I'd hoped (he's still resisting) but there's still time *logs onto Amazon prime, buys more ski socks.

Bought the boys these waterproof dungarees recently, more for forest school as not lined, but with some joggers (and thermals) underneath they are more than suitable for skiing:

children's waterproof overtrousers

And then Nana treated them both to a new ski jacket like this:

Image result for nokosi parka

These things have some kind of witchcraft sewing inside which means you can unpick the bright red seam inside the garment and the arms (and legs if trousers) lengthen by an entire size!! What a great idea!!

So yes, it may well be a heatwave in the shire (poor dogs are both panting in front of a fan!) but my two boys are putting on layers and enjoying the snow, go figure! You watch, I'll get pregnant now and the whole thing will go to shit, typical!

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