14 November 2016

Bloody buggery hell

So when we moved house we acquired a log burner in the snug. Husband nearly pee'd his pants with glee and we have used it multiple times in the last 18 months. The chimney breast it sits inside had been swept the winter before we moved in but we shamefully neglected to have it done last year. Cue me this autumn realising that, if you want a chimney sweep to come and sort out your fireplace in time for the cold weather, apparently you need to call them in May. FFS.

Anyway, many many phone calls later we found a guy who could fit us in. We still had to wait 4 weeks but since it was that or wait until February we booked him and sat back thinking, oh yay, soon we'll be able to use the fire again.

No. It's never that easy is it?

Last Tuesday, aforementioned chimney sweep arrived, set up, looked up the chimney and promptly announced that he couldn't actually do the job since the chimney isn't lined (which isn't a massive issue, but advised), that there's no proper hatch for cleaning away the mess and that there's a piece of plasterboard sitting inside the hearth that could, and I quote, 'burst into flames at any moment'. Fucking hell.

So, last Wednesday a stove installer arrived to assess the job, only to agree with everything the chimney sweep had said AND to add that the stove itself is pretty much next to useless. He can restore it for £100 (small glimmer of hope!) but considering it's a 7kw stove we really should have an air vent drilled through the wall which will add to the building costs so it may well be better to buy a whole new 5kw stove. I mean. I ask you. You can't make this shit up.

We have gone from knowing nothing about the damn thing to having to do a wealth of research, being totally overwhelmed and facing a bill of anything ranging from £1500-2500. In the month before Christmas. When we had budgeted £40 for a sweep. Balls!

All is not lost, however. Have embraced the situation as an opportunity to shop and decorate. Lo, here is the new paint colour for the chimney breast...

Image result for juniper ash chimney breast

Image result for charnwood c5

And here is the new stove that is (God willing) being fitted in the next two weeks.

So yes, no Christmas gifts for Husband or I, but a new fire so we can at least sit in the warm and weep! Could be worse...

No comments:

Post a Comment