Oh yay and I've discovered it just in time for 'Tell me all about your most embarrassing moment!' Yikes!!
This is not as easy to answer as I originally thought when I first read it. At the time, I'm sure lots of things I've done have felt like the most cringe-worthy thing ever. Headbutting a friend's dog and having to go to A&E for stitches in my nose. Falling over on the stage at secondary school awards day. Standing on the nursery slopes for the first time, frozen in fear and crying hot little tears into my scarf. At the age of 21. The shame!
But in hindsight, Pfft, no biggy. Have a shocking story to tell at dinner parties, gave 200 people a good laugh and no one died, overcame the fear and now love to ski.
And embarrassing moments didn't stop when I hit 21 and grew up. Just last week I called a gentleman Malcolm to his face through an entire dinner, his name was Graham. I slid across the main shopping centre corridor in crappy boots with no grip the other day and if I hadn't had Baby's pushchair to hold onto I'd have fallen flat on my arse. Never mind shitting yourself in labour, I have this thing called 'involuntary pushing' which, whilst incredibly handy as it means I could essentially deliver my children whilst unconscious, I sound like a fucking walrus during every contraction. Every damn time I cry it's embarrassing because I look like a hot mess and currently I cry a lot.
But you know, it doesn't bother me. I am big enough now to laugh it off. I have enough true girlfriends around me who know who I am, what I am and I really don't care what randoms think about me anymore. Not in an arrogant way, just in a genuinely carefree way. I have a broken heart, two babies to care for, a brilliant Husband and a wonderful circle of friends. Things that used to make me want to curl up and die make me go red, have a small hot flush, then make me laugh out loud and text a girlfriend to share the shame.
Life really is too short for embarrassment. Embrace the comedy!!