25 January 2016

Ouchy Ouchy Ouch!

Am officially old. Threw my back out and have spent entire child-free weekend hobbling around like an idiot. And the worst bit? I managed to injure myself SLEEPING ON A MATTRESS THAT WAS TOO SOFT! I'm fucking Goldilocks.

Busy weekend started off fine. I managed to load everything into the car without Baby or Dog running out the front door and throwing themselves in front of a car which was impressive. Then I managed to get a space on the school drive at collection time. Even better. We made it to Lichfield in plenty of time for the boys to have tea and a bubble bath before bed at a normal time, everything was going to plan and on schedule and I may have, looking back, been a bit too smug about it. I should have known.

The first hiccup was when my darling mother served Husband and me our dinner after the boys were in bed. After a busy day packing 396 bags, I was starving and ready to eat my own arm so the sight of steaming hot lasagne that someone else had lovingly prepared almost made me weep happy tears. It was full of mushrooms. Mushrooms give me instant diarrhoea, not really something I'm ever interested in but am even LESS interested in at the start of my first child-free weekend in 5 years. Fucks' sake. I wound up eating some hula hoops and a hot cross bun for my dinner. Yay!

And that was it. It all unravelled from there, really. I slept on a mattress that felt like a fluffy cloud and woke up on Saturday feeling like I couldn't really stand up straight without saying things like 'oof' and 'urgh'. Paracetamol managed to take the edge off so we waved our babies goodbye and I celebrated by sitting in the car for 90 minutes, a sure fire fix for a bad back. Groan.

By the time we arrived in Bristol I had to hold onto the dashboard to swivel my legs out of the passenger seat. I officially felt 90. We walked along the waterfront to lunch with my university besties, which was delicious and fun and nostalgic and wonderful, and the movement loosened all the muscles in my back so for a few hours I was fine. High heels for that night's party reminded me that I was, in fact, a little bit fucked, so I nailed some more drugs and went to see the birthday girl.

Party was hilarious. Lots of old work colleagues, Husband on fine form making everyone laugh and looking terribly good-looking (he does this every so often and I spend the entire evening gazing at him and being immensely proud that he's mine, all mine!) and the birthday girl is such a dear friend of mine, I'd have done anything to be there and celebrate her mere existence.

I then compounded the back issue by sitting in the car for the 90mins drive home. Aargh!!

I must interject here and clarify that, every time we visit Bristol I become ridiculously emotional and homesick and spend the entire stretch of the M5 northbound grumping at my stupid, wanky, Shropshire-loving Husband. The incredible back pain on this particular journey home did nothing to ease this anger. I may, at one point, have been contemplating divorce, purely on geographical grounds! His handsome face and sexy demeanour from an hour previously was totally forgotten, poor chap!

Anyhoo, Sunday was great because the boys were still at Nana's and we didn't wake up until 8.30am. You have to understand, for people with kids, 8.30am is AMAZING! It felt like we were at a spa!! I managed to cane some co-codamol, hobble into the shower, Husband went for a run, we read the papers in bed, no-one demanded to be fed or watch Bing or go downstairs and play Lego...it was such a luxurious treat but also quite surreal? We were at Nana's to collect them by lunchtime!!

This morning I woke to find my back much better but we walked down to school as I couldn't face the thought of driving (twisting hurts). We have raided Waitrose, been to playgroup with a friend and are about to have lunch. I may lie down when Baby goes for his nap, although this is always a dangerous habit as I won't be sleepy tonight and will then feel like shit and need to nap tomorrow...the curse of the SAHM!

Tomorrow is hair-bobble-gate. If you're in the Shropshire area listen out for screaming around 1.45pm. I'll let you know how it goes...! Have a good week, everyone, hope it passes quickly!

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