20 May 2016

What a shambles!

Good God, it's all going to shit over here. On the outside, I think I do a pretty good job of appearing like I've got this living thing lark down to a fine art but in real life?? Here's a list of utterly ridiculous and farcical things that occurred in the last 7 days...

A yoghurt tube got squeezed energetically at dinner time and its contents sprayed across 2 walls, the bench and the wooden floor. I may or may not have shrieked at Boy and thrown a packet of wet wipes in his general direction!

The iPod still has Christmas songs loaded onto the 'everyday' playlist so we keep finding ourselves listening to Cliff Richard. It's May. Almost June. It was annoying me in January, I am not proud of the fact that this still hasn't been rectified!

Boy pee'd on the school drive. It had been a long day and had taken ages to extricate the pair of them from the gang who stay and play on the playground whilst waiting for older siblings, I was damned if I was going back in to use the toilet. So yes, that happened. 

School sent out a consent form that only needed filling in if your child has allergies or a phobia. Mine has neither. I filled it in and put No next to each category and took it back. Idiot, much? The women in the office just smiled sweetly and accepted it...probably filing it in the recycling as soon as I'd closed the office door on my way out!

I may or may not have uttered the phrase 'no darling, you can't eat it now because it fell down the toilet.' This is an upsetting set of words to use in itself but worse when you realise that a) he was eating dolly mixtures (pure sugar!!) and b) he was eating them whilst doing a wee and one fell between his legs. What? Motherhood is hard work!!

Both boys wound up with 'Bob the Builder pasta' for dinner. Two nights running. (Disclaimer: note how it says '1 of your 5 a day'!!

And I may or may not have fallen asleep during sex the other evening. So am nailing motherhood AND marriage, yay me!!

Just keeping it real, friends. Which reminds me, tomorrow I must publish my review of Hello Fresh! (whose first delicious meal I managed to burn to the bottom of the pan...)

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